Today I am telling you something I cannot tell you. I will show you something I cannot show. I will talk to you about things you will never know. This is a special post. It is a revelation. It is a revelation that I had today..And that I cannot explain you by facts, by examples. Follow only what I tell you…and feel that, too…feel what you want, what you can…
I have read today a quote from a promoted book on the subway:
“Only when you are at peace with yourself, you can conquer the world”
At this moment, I feel I am in a good relationship to myself, I do not recall being happier with myself…This post is about the past, and the future…and the present.
Lately, I have taken part to some extraordinary experiences, of great importance to me and very powerful. All the information related to this post is confidential as the ambiguous nature of the post. But this ambiguity is the result of the experience I want you to live, it makes part of the essence of the message I want you to understand…
I will write some statements that you already know. I already knew them. But, I am fully aware of them now…I feel them with all my heart…and once again they have been confirmed. The result is that I am more at peace with me than ever before.
I realized that the past is an illusion…It is a creation of my mind. Perhaps, you already knew that…perhaps, you ask yourself what would have been if…as the past is a concrete thing which already happened, that already took place. The best way to realize that the past is an illusion is talking to a person you broke up because of some misunderstandings. I talked to some persons from my past, persons that had an impact upon me, upon my experiences and my decisions.
What I found out was quite shocking and in the end quite revealing. The past is what you want it to be. But not in the same way as the future when you still hope or wish something to happen. The past is one of your fantasies that you believe to be real and which dictates your dreams, your wishes and your experiences. This is what I saw in me, when I was the one who fantasized about the past and soon, I saw in other person. Again, in a confidential manner, enjoy the ambiguity; it makes part of the message and of the experience.
Firstly, I could notice myself, the one that lives the fantasy and the reaction of the receiver and secondly, I was the receiver and I could notice the other person’s reaction.
Everything was on major themes, with strong emotional charge, the force to change one or more people’s lives. Too important to skip it. Not to stop and wonder. I had the opportunity to watch things from a double perspective; shortly one after another I dare say it is pretty rare or unique in this life.
I once again stop, I wonder and I thank God or whoever is out there and I thank for the experience and for the revelation. When you start discussing with that person with which you didn’t break up in the best conditions and you start telling things, remember things, you discover that most things you also remember and other things you recall by the help of that person. But you can be remembered stuff that you don’t quite recall. But what is important is that these things are told from other person’s perspective, with his/her emotions, feelings, thoughts and conceptions. Which in my situation, there were different from what I was thinking and I was remembering. It is as if we have lived in different universes. There were the same experiences but there were two persons. So, there were two realities, two universes. Not one, as I or you have thought. Ok, I knew it before and you perhaps knew it, too. But when you live such an experience, especially to such higher ranks, you feel it deep inside you.
I have lived my entire life based on that experience, too. I made my decisions based upon that experience. And that person lived her life based upon her experience; she made her choices based upon that experience. It is that there are two different universes. Experience tough the same, is different. From earth to sky. The major experience that leaves its footprint on the existence, over what you decide, you feel, over the persons you meet, over the entire road in your life. It is like a brick on the wall of life.
And you are convinced that the brick is there. It is there, as it is your experience, through which you have gone through and you surely know how it was. You saw it with your own eyes, you could touch it, you could feel it.
Of course, you are in a great shock when you find out that the brick is not real. It is not there. It is the result of your imagination. It is there because you thought, you saw, you felt from that perspective. The brick is there because you create it. With your mind, and not with your experience. You only believed it is real, that is you see it as something real that happened. But, it took place in your mind, in your reality.
And you believe that you lived that reality together with that person. It is shocking to find out the truth, when you see what that brick can build. You are amazed just like that. That brick can be either happiness or unhappiness. My brick was pain. And the other person’s brick was pain, too. The third person didn’t have any idea that such a brick existed. Either sufferance or happiness such a strong brick can build or destroy huge things…Again; it depends on how you handle the situation. For me, it destroyed everything, for the second person, it created and the third person has totally forgotten about the brick:):).
When those two perspectives met, the brick crashed.Because it never really existed.It was only in the mind.Everything exists in the mind.The consequences…are,were.Major implications.A storm, a reshuffle of all the other bricks.Hard business.You almost can’t believe this is happening.It can’t be real.Though it is “more real” than before.
I had in front of my eyes the vision of a wonderful future, an amazing life and that was strongly shuttered and then made to pieces once the brick crashed.I was in Heaven, then I ended up in the World between Worlds only to fall back into Hell.
After I beat myself up I struggle to stand up and I rebuild the brick. I change it and I put it there, at the new foundation. I hope it will be ok.The foundation is still waggling.
Then appears that person with whom I share one brick.That one crashes to.Big Time. This was also an important brick that supported the foundation of my life and other person’s too.
One time I’m on the top of the world, with all my options wide open.I’m wonderful, I can do and have anything. Then everything breaks into pieces, I feel almost powerless,I lose my confidence, the world isn’t how I thought it was, it’s like I can’t do what I had hopped to do. that person, the energy that I had thanks to her support, vanish.I’m in Hell.Very slowly I get up. Because where is suffering is also power.
Then another person comes back into my life and with an enormous force lifts me up, higher than the top of the world. I am more than wonderful, I feel that from this moment on I can do even the things I thought were impossible before. My brick is crashed and is replaced with the other person’s brick.My reality wasn’t true because I have just found out the opposite with what I used to believe.
But I didn’t stop here. I dug deeper and I did the unthinkable: I shattered the other person’s brick, the one that stood at the foundation of her life and now at mine, too. I searched for the Truth, for a reality more “real”. I questioned the very essence of the brick.And I did it in such a convincing way, it crashed.:)
It crashed because it is a creation of the mind.It doesn’t exist. The moment the mind starts to see alternatives, the brick starts to transform. Or it vanishes all together. Because it is just not real.If it would have been,there was nothing you could do to change it. Even if you can see it, touch it or smell it, in reality it doesn’t exist(only in your reality it does).
That brick crashed because I gave the other person an alternative, a different perspective of how things actually were. It is very possible that was just a potential, not how things really were. But in the moment that person believes it, it becomes a reality.Her reality.And therefore it becomes the other person’s brick.And mine crashes and I create another one.
This time I didn’t end up in Hell, but it was close.It also was for a short period of time.
I saw myself looking for validation in the eyes of another once more. Each person thinks whatever she wants, labels you however she wants, even if it doesn’t characterize you. In reality, you are wonderful too,absolutely amazing, you are more than the other person thinks about you. You want to be again on top of the world.You want that person to lift you back on the top of the world, to give you the strength once more.
And then I figured it out.I don’t need another person’s validation.I don’t need their strength. I don’t have to prove to anyone that I am extraordinary, I don’t to be put on a pedestal. I can’t be strong, accomplish things if I try to prove that I am strong. That’s already a prove of weakness.
I create my own bricks.And I know they can be changed.Also by me:).
And if the past is so volatile, even the past that had already happened and is material, can you imagine how the future is?:):).
Now, for me is not a past and a future anymore.They all merge together. Everything I did and will do means what I want it to mean.It’s what I think and feel now about what it is, was and will be.
The thing I thought in the past still exists in my thought and will be materialized in the future. But actually started to materialize even since I started to think about it. Only that it will manifest in the future. All the things from the future exist in the past and in the present. So they are without actually being:))
There is no room for ” It can’t be done” because it was already done.It’s not room for “I don’t have” because I already have:).It is not “impossible” because it is already possible:).
I think this is the present. But not as I perceived it before: like a straight line with past at one end, future at the other and present somewhere at the middle. I see it like NOW , when the past and the future don’t exist.When all merge together.When all I have is past,present and future in the same time. When there is without having to be. It is only because I want it to be.How I want it to be.It just is:).
I don’t need someone else to think about me that I am wonderful to be wonderful.I don’t have to fall to the ground and feel bad about myself when the same person that made me feel amazing changed her mind; like”sorry,my mistake”:):)))). I don’t need the approval and validation of others. I don’t need other’s pessimistic attitude and their limitations. I don’t need other person’s bricks.
I don’t need any bricks. Because they don’t exist.I am how I want to be.
I’m not how you say I am , I am how I say I am.
How fragile is the past.How easy the future can be created 🙂
I am Wonderful, Extraordinary, I am higher than on top of the world.
I am Smart, a Genius, The Most Beautiful Girl on the Planet. I am a princess,a fairy, a God.
I am a Ninja and a Samurai in the same time.And still I have only two legs, two arms and a pair o wings ( but you can’t see those):):))).
“Only when you are at peace with yourself, you can conquer the world”
I’ve already changed it:)
Thanks to everybody who helped me get here.
Thank you for reading.
I just told you something without telling you what was all about.:)It’s what you want to be. And all you want to be is.
Hugs and kisses with love,
My Wish Fairy:)
P.S.:( 1 year after I originally post this) Thanks to me 🙂 Thank to me I am where I am now, thank to me I met all the people from my past and present and had all the experiences. Thank to me I have the future I want. 🙂